Welcome to your very own
Fabulous Over 50 Blog!
There’s something about midlife that can slowly make women invisible.
It’s not the same for men; you’ll often hear them described as ‘distinguished’.
Women can ever-so-slowly fade away from forty-something onwards, thanks to society’s obsession with youth being the only thing that matters and with that obsession going unchallenged. Throw into the mix the curve balls you find yourself on the end of health-wise, and it can make for a miserable, draining time.
And then there’s pursuing careers. Raising children. Looking after aged loved ones.
It’s all about putting others first. You end up at the bottom of a large, demanding pile.
I Feel Your Pain...
I’m Debs Lee and my goal for this blog to create a comprehensive, useful and (at times) light-hearted resource to help women remap their purpose, rediscover their enthusiasm and get as much from life as humanly possible in their fifties and beyond. With a few giggles along the way. When you’re a 50 plus woman you simply deserve better.
If you believe all there is to look forward to as a woman over 50 is a new colouring book and a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc I’m here to show you there could be so much more.
Don’t worry. I haven’t lost my mind. Pigs will never fly but bear with me and you’ll discover I’m right on this.
When it comes to feeling like a tired old disinterested trout, I’ve not only worn the T-shirt, I’ve got it in several sizes and every colour in the rainbow.
We're a fabulous over 50 blog tackling real obstacles, not just selling estrogen cream.
I’ve been keen to start this blog for some time. The need to share the tales of my tortuous journey back to feeling human again, without the aid of addictive or prescribed substances has been overwhelming.
Here’s a little more about what lead me here…
She Is More Than a Mum
I was well into my forties when I realised I wasn’t feeling that great any longer.
It wasn’t just my energy levels (although they were noticeably lower); it was my lack of zest for life and zero self-esteem.
In 2004 I’d become a mum for the first time at the tender age of 40.
Like many before me I embraced motherhood. I loved it. I was very fortunate as Ben (my boy) was a contented baby who fed and slept well; he simply smiled and laughed his way through his day. I knew having listened to tortuous tales of the tiny baby trials others had endured I was very lucky.
That time was blissful. I had my beautiful healthy, happy baby; life had been kind beyond measure.
But my joyous existence resulted in me losing the person I was even though I was more than happy to let her go.
There was a slight jolt to my bliss in 2005 when I discovered after several miscarriages I had a blood-clotting disorder (Factor V Leiden) which essentially meant all hormone therapies were off-limits. So using HRT in the future to get through menopause wasn’t an option.
Any treatment or solutions I used going forward would have to be natural.
She Gets Lost in the Forest of Doubt
Amid all the hand-wringing over “losing who I was” I was happy to wave goodbye to a few aspects of pre-baby Debs.
As a mother I was now less selfish (that helps when you’re facing endless 2am feeds and nappy changes) and no longer as self-obsessed (it was no longer the end of the world if I hadn’t applied fresh nail polish by 8pm on Sunday).
In deciding to become a mum I’d made the ultimate sacrifice: my son came first. I put my dreams and aspirations on indefinite hold.
But as the years passed I slowly realised as my boy grew, I could (if I wanted) take my life back again, piece by piece.
But I was too darn tired! I couldn’t remember the last time I leapt out of bed in the morning eager to seize the day. The days and the nights exhausted me, constantly.
Anxiety also played its part. My life was one source of worry after another. I became Olympic-standard at stressing out most mornings around 3am.
Why wasn’t my son talking yet? Had I become a mother too late in life? Had I let him down by not giving him a brother or sister? Why couldn’t I stop reaching for a glass of wine every night? Why did I always need a second?
I’d ignited a raging fire of unhelpful and unhealthy habits, and ignored them because: my son’s needs came first, not mine.
My confidence was on the floor. I no longer felt capable of steering my life in a positive direction.
Whenever I searched online for a fabulous over 50 blog all I found was a lot of witty posts about weight gain and hot flushes.
I saw in front of me an uphill slog best viewed from the bottom of a wine glass. The promise of a life beyond raising a young child should have spelt f-r-e-e-d-o-m, but even that didn’t inspire me.
Something had changed. Everything had changed.
Midlife had dragged me down, got me in a headlock, and there was only one person who could do anything about it… Me.
She Makes a Break for It
I found out through trial and error that one small action does not make up a whole solution in these situations.
And that’s frustrating because I’m the type who likes her remedies served up in one blog post, one bottle or a gym session.
Sadly turning the big ship “Fifty-Funk” around has required a number of lifestyle tweaks, changes and alterations.
But you know what? They were worth it. All of them.
Facing each day with more energy and positivity than I did in my thirties (yes, really) is life-changing.
With the possibility of another twenty, thirty, maybe forty years ahead I’m not ready to surrender and call time on living my days to the full.
You see, I’ve always had this nagging feeling I’m capable of much more. Many of us will identify with that.
More business success. More happy times with family and friends. More sleep. More potential realised.
It may have been easier to do ‘much more’ in my thirties but life rarely runs in the order you expect.
So, my friends, let’s do this!
We’re all unlimited. We may have lost sight of what makes us so special, but I’m about to help you refocus.
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